Achievements

To complete your planning for the zombie apocalypse, you must employ a new degree of cunning and combat prowess to unlock a variety of Achievements. Below is a list of all Achievements and information on the easiest way to unlock each one.

Name	Description	How to Obtain
CL0WND	Honk the noses of 10 Clowns.	Relatively simple, as long as you focus on only killing Clowns after Melee Striking each one (so the nose honks), and your colleagues don’t accidentally take down these Uncommon Infected during Dark Carnival.
FRIED PIPER	Use a Molotov to burn a Clown leading at least 10 Common Infected.	Look for a Clown during Dark Carnival, ideally in an expansive area where you can strafe, stop your friends from firing, ready your Molotov, and wait for the procession behind a running Clown to grow to ten. Then burn them.
LEVEL A CHARGE	Kill a Charger with a Melee Weapon while they are charging.	Swift reactions (or a friend who wants to spawn as a Charger during Versus or Scavenge and stand there) is needed for this; as Chargers randomly appear, Scavenge or Survival is the easiest mode in which to complete this task.
ACID REFLEX	Kill a Spitter before she is able to spit.	This is a straightforward culling. Tag a Splitter in the head from range to ensure the acid doesn’t leave her gullet. At closer range, spotting a Spitter and reacting quickly is the key; charging in or using close weaponry usually isn’t fast enough.
CONFEDERACY OF CRUNCHES	Finish a campaign using only melee weapons.	A mixture of running, Adrenaline, Pain Pills, a dogged determination never to stay in one place, and setting the Difficulty to Easy all help you achieve this one. Only one of the five campaigns needs to be finished, so choose the shortest, or one you’re most familiar with.
CRASS MENAGERIE	Kill one of each Uncommon Infected.	This usually involves simply finishing all of the campaigns, although some of the Uncommon Infected have particular foibles to be aware of. Read the “Survivors and Infected” chapter so you know exactly how to tackle each type.
A RIDE DENIED	Kill a Jockey within 2 seconds of it jumping on a Survivor.	Simply stay close to another teammate, wait for a Jockey to leap aboard, and then pepper the Jockey’s head with gunfire, or slash them with a Melee Weapon. The health of your friend is secondary to this Achievement!
HEAD HONCHO	Decapitate 200 Infected with a Melee Weapon.	Take a Melee Weapon, and don’t stop slashing foes until this Achievement is awarded. As some Melee Weapons (the Katana and Fireaxe) are better at this than others (all the rest), use those that make a mess, and slash at head height.
HEARTWARMER	In a Versus match, leave the Safe Room to defibrillate a dead teammate.	Whenever you start, finish, or are close to a Safe Room, look for a Defibrillator, or carry one with you, enter the Safe Room, and then step out and save a Survivor already being pounded by the Infected. Tricky, but not impossible.
STILL SOMETHING TO PROVE	Survive all campaigns on Expert.	Tricky, and impossible? Only if you lack the necessary skill. This Achievement is designed to test the mettle of the hardest of the hardcore. Use the tactics present in this guide, and make as few mistakes as possible. There’s little room for error.
THE REAL DEAL	Survive a campaign on Expert difficulty with Realism mode enabled.	Trickier, and insanely difficult. For this Achievement, you must trek through a single campaign without the help of the “glows” around your friends or equipment. Pick a campaign you’re most familiar with or the easiest and find some competent colleagues!
STRENGTH IN NUMBERS	Form a team and beat an enemy team in 4v4 Versus or Scavenge.	This is awarded early in your online antics, as soon as you confidentially demolish a quartet of rivals. The only real problem is finding eight human players.
DEAD IN THE WATER	Kill 10 swampy Mudmen while they are in the water.	As Mudmen have an annoying habit of running at you, this means halfsubmerging yourself in the putrid water during Swamp Fever and letting your colleagues know that any of these Uncommon Infected are yours to bag.
ROBBED ZOMBIE	Collect 10 vials of Boomer vomit from infected CEDA agents you have killed.	During the first Dead Center Campaign, this involves the slaughtering of the Infected clad in hazmat suits and then checking each corpse for a vial of Boomer Bile. Throw the Bile before collecting the next vial.
DISMEMBERMENT PLAN	Kill 15 Infected with a single Grenade Launcher blast.	Although it might seem difficult, this is extremely simple once you lob a Bile Bomb or a Pipe Bomb to attract a gaggle of the Common Infected. Then shoot an accurate grenade before the Infected blow up, disperse, or are shot by teammates.
BURNING SENSATION	Ignite 50 Common Infected with Incendiary Ammo.	This involves randomly finding the Incendiary Ammo Pack, activating it, and then blasting away at an increasing number of singed foes. The best time to attempt this is when a Horde is active, such as when a car alarm is going off, or a switch needs pressing.
ARMORY OF ONE	Deploy an ammo upgrade and have your team use it.	These boxes are randomly found, although there’s usually a Laser Sight inside the gun store during Dead Center. Any box you find and then drop for your team to upgrade their bullets and shells wins you this Achievement.
SHOCK JOCK	Revive 10 dead Survivors with the Defibrillator.	This involves waiting until your friends are dead and then using the randomly occurring Defibrillator to bring them back. This takes considerable time, but continued use with this item is the key to obtaining this reward.
THE QUICK AND THE DEAD	Revive 10 incapacitated Survivors while under the speed-boosting effects of Adrenaline.	As long as the requirements are met—that you’re under the influence of Adrenaline, and you’re helping downed teammates back up after a nasty clawing—this is straightforward but lengthy. Use the Adrenaline after a friend goes down, not before.
CHAIN OF COMMAND	Kill 100 Common Infected with the Chainsaw.	Because the Chainsaw has a limited amount of fuel, it is wise to use it in short, sharp bursts, ideally just as a group of Infected are closing in on you. Learn when a Horde is about to appear, and let the bloodletting begin!
SEPTIC TANK	Use a Boomer Bile grenade on a Tank.	Not only is this entertaining, but it is also informative: You’ll have a newfound appreciation for this projectile weapon when you realize it impedes a Tank’s attack. Lob it straight at the head of this pink behemoth and watch the Infected swarm it!
CLUB DEAD	Use every Melee Weapon to kill Common Infected.	Throughout your campaigns, be sure you grab the Fireaxe, Baseball Bat, Cricket Bat, Crowbar, Katana, Frying Pan, Electric Guitar, and Machete (and the Chainsaw for good measure). Bludgeon, slice, and dice with all of them.
TANK BURGER	Kill a Tank with Melee Weapons.	Holster your fancy firearms, and after filling up on Health and perhaps Adrenaline, have all four of your team tackle the Tank using longer Melee Weapons (like the Baseball Bat or Katana) and circle-strafe with agility. This ain’t easy!
BRIDGE OVER TREBLED SLAUGHTER	Cross the bridge finale in less than 3 minutes.	Rampage across the last part of The Parish by learning the quicker routes across the bridge, dodging all attackers, arming yourselves with Melee Weapons, ignoring Tanks, and using distracting projectiles as you race to the chopper.
PRICE CHOPPER	Survive the Dead Center Campaign.	This means you must complete Hotel, Streets, Mall, and Atrium. Found Jimmy Gibbs Jr.’s Blue 22 racer? He won’t be needing it anymore judging by that jumpsuited zombie you might have seen during the finale.
MIDNIGHT RIDER	Survive the Dark Carnival Campaign.	It’s none of the fun of the fair as you cut and thrust your way through Highway, Fairground, Coaster, Barns, and the infamous Concert, where a mixture of fireworks and hard work pays off. No need to bring the gnome for this one.
RAGIN’ CAJUN	Survive the Swamp Fever Campaign.	Become less concerned about the mosquitoes, and more about the dental hygiene of the backwoods beasts you’re culling as you trek through Plank Country, Swamp, Shanty Town, and Plantation.
WEATHERMAN	Survive the Hard Rain Campaign.	Witches have developed a sweet tooth, and your team must not develop a tendency to shoot anything that’s weeping, or you’ll never complete Milltown, Sugar Mill, Mill Escape, Return to Town, and Town Escape.
BRIDGE BURNER	Survive the Parish Campaign.	Beating the Big Uneasy is no mean feat thanks to the extra-tough location and madcap finale; earn this Achievement by finishing Waterfront, Park, Cemetery, Quarter, and Bridge.
VIOLENCE IN SILENCE	Navigate the impound lot and reach the cemetery Safe Room without tripping any alarms.	This one begins when you reach the impound car lot during The Parish stage called Cemetery. Exit the sewer, use Melee Weapons, and rapidly head down the center of the car lot to minimize the chances of failure.
GUARDIN’ GNOME	Rescue Gnome Chompski from the carnival.	The roaming gnome is the key to obtaining the only non-Achievement prize, so head to the Peanut Gallery (in the Fairground stage), and score 750 points in this Dark Carnival game. Grab the gnome from his small red prison.
SOB STORY	Navigate the Sugar Mill and reach the Safe Room without killing any Witches.	This relies on competence, a strict control of itchy trigger fingers, and remembering the plan for leaving Witches alone (usually giving them a wide berth, and no flashlights in their faces). Now do this during Stage 2 of Hard Rain.
WING AND A PRAYER	Defend yourself at the crashed airliner withouttaking damage.	The remains of the plane can be found during Swamp Fever, in the aptly titled Swamp stage. As you reach the hatch door, remain in the middle of the plane, as stepping out on the wing exposes you. Guard the hatch with a Melee Weapon and hope for the best.
QUALIFIED RIDE	As the Jockey, ride a Survivor for more than 12 seconds.	This can be attempted during Versus or Scavenge modes. Assuming you don’t have a willing steed, you need to find a straggler and ride them in an area where they won’t fall or be rescued. Plan the attack carefully.
BACK IN THE SADDLE	As the Jockey, ride the Survivors twice in a single life.	Giving any of the Survivors a ride is straightforward, but doing it again? It’s tricky, as you’re usually killed if you try it. Enter Versus (or Scavenge) mode, ride your first Survivor to their death. Then catch the remaining foes and do it again.
RODE HARD, PUT AWAY WET	As the Jockey, ride a Survivor and steer them into a Spitter’s acid patch.	This involves a fair degree of agreement among Infected, as you need a Spitter’s help in completing this task. Of course, you can simply look out for a patch of green acid, especially during Versus matches or at a generator in a Scavenge match.
GREAT EXPECTORATIONS	As the Spitter, hit every Survivor with a single acid patch.	The Spitter must vomit over all four of the Survivors during a Versus or Scavenge match. When your foes aren’t willing victims, look for an enclosed room when the Survivors are clearing a house. It is your best bet.
A SPITTLE HELP FROM MY FRIENDS	As the Spitter, spit on a Survivor being choked by a Smoker.	During Versus or Scavenge matches, work with a friendly constrictor; wander near to the Survivor (without giving either of your positions away) and, once the choke is underway, finish the job with a disgusting acid belch.
SCATTERING RAM	As the Charger, bowl through the entire enemy team in a single charge.	When a Versus or Scavenge match calls for a team to enter a building, or to move down a long, narrow corridor or road, hope your human foes are in a line, and Charge them, ideally from behind. You don’t need the room, so tiny chambers are worth considering, too.
MEAT TENDERIZER	As the Charger, grab a Survivor and smash them into the ground for a solid 15 seconds.	For this to happen, you must be in Versus or Scavenge mode and have already Charged a foe, ideally after the rest of the Survivors have leaped across a one-way jump, leaving the straggler all on their own. Pummel to completion.
LONG DISTANCE CARRIER	As the Charger, grab a Survivor and carry them over 80 feet.	You’ll need a large, expansive area (such as one of the long streets during the Parish Campaign, the bridge, grassy areas and streets in the mill, the cane field) and apathy or ignorance from the rest of the Survivors. Do this in Versus or Scavenge matches.
BEAT THE RUSH	In a Survival match, get a medal by using only using Melee Weapons.	The type of medal is unimportant, so at the very least this means surviving for four minutes. Attempt this by finding an area that foes are funneled through, like the gate near the helipad in the Bridge Stage. A lot of running helps, too.
HUNTING PARTY	Win a game of Scavenge.	Are your motley crew of players up to the task? Can they carry Fuel Cans and attempt successful pouring in the combat zone? As Infected, can they waylay and wage war on those nearing a generator? Not a tricky one, this.
GAS GUZZLER	Collect 100 gas cans in Scavenge.	During your Scavenge matches, the total number of Fuel Cans is recorded. As you can’t gather and pour all 16 Cans that are available in each match, you’re likely to play a fair few matches before obtaining this one.
CACHE AND CARRY	Collect 15 gas cans in a single Scavenge match.	Not easy. This involves Infected incompetence, teammates that chaperone you like you’re made out of virus antidote, and a general agreement that you’re the person who’s on Fuel Can-gathering duty. Adrenaline helps, too.
SCAVENGER HUNT	Stop the enemy team from collecting any gas cans during a Scavenge match.	A Scavenge shutout? Entirely possible, providing you’re following the plans for the Infected, work extremely well as a team, and have a spot of luck during the match. Challenging a completely incompetent set of friends works, too.
GONG SHOW	Prove you are stronger than Moustachio.	Assuming a Tank hasn’t broken the machine and summoned a Horde, locate the “Test Your Strength” machine during the Barns Stage of Dark Carnival, take Adrenaline, and hit the red button with a Melee Weapon.
FUEL CRISIS	Make a Survivor drop a gas can during overtime.	With the stakes high after previous rounds have gone to a draw, your task is to ensure that a Survivor fumbles the Fuel Can. A Smoker, Jockey, or other well-timed attack by a Special Infected can complete this task. Getting to Overtime is more difficult.
GAS SHORTAGE	Cause 25 gas can drops as a Special Infected.	This involves the full help of your team, who can waylay Survivors armed with more than a Fuel Can, while you concentrate on the refueling humans during a Scavenge match. Continue this throughout the rounds until completion.
STACHE WHACKER	Prove you are faster than Moustachio.	During the Barns Stage of Dark Carnival, challenge the ’Stache Whacker machine to withstand your very special mallet: an explosive grenade punted out of your Grenade Launcher. It’s the only easy way to beat this game.

The Roaming Gnome

Did you carry Gnome Chompski onto the helicopter? Then you receive a special prize: a Depeche Mode Avatar shirt (in addition to the Achievement for beating the campaign). The stipulation is that the gnome must be held and on the chopper. All teammates who began the campaign (that is, were in the Lobby before the campaign started) receive this special prize, too, providing they didn’t exit the game at any point.