Big Game Huntin with Jimbo

Jimbo’s Guns, located in the northwest corner of the map, is the site of the side quest “Big Game Huntin’ with Jimbo.” Take the Fast Travel Flag to Restaurant Row and head left until you reach the first brown building.

Speak with Jimbo at the counter and listen to him reminisce about all the great beasts loose in Colorado. It’s a hunter’s dream, and Jimbo wants you to track down six of the stranger beasties: Mutant Bacteria (in the school basement), Rabid Junkyard Dog (Kenny’s house), Bloodsucking Fruit Bat (sewers), Penis Mouse (sewers), Farm Cow (farm), and Canadian Barking Spider (Canada). Buy the Hunter’s Guide to South Park Wildlife for three bucks to start the side quest.

While on the “Attack the School” quest, look for the Mutant Bacteria in the basement, hidden away in the boiler room. Take the Rubbing Alcohol out and place it on the table next to the petri dishes with your friends’ names taped on them.

The Mutant Bacteria appears and attacks. All the beasties you’re hunting have potent attacks, so try to stun them if you can, and stock up on snacks for healing and effects-removal to counteract damage and debuffs.

Block as best you can and tag team on the Mutant Bacteria until it becomes a puddle. Continue the “Attack the School” quest and return to Jimbo’s Guns when you have a chance.

Each time you return and speak with Jimbo after completing a step in the quest, he will reward you with an item to modify your weapons or armor, such as the Mr. Yuck Patch for killing the Mutant Bacteria.

Other than the Mutant Bacteria in the elementary school, you can complete the hunting objectives in any order you like. If you want to go from closest to farthest, head out to Kenny’s house first. Pass the garage and look for a few dog bones next to a pile of discarded bottles. You might have to defeat the pesky hobo that stands up by the car on blocks. He will likely attack you before you can call forth the Rabid Junkyard Dog.

When you’re ready, place the Moldy Sausage on the deflated inner tube next to the bones. The Rabid Junkyard Dog comes calling.

As with all the other beasties, try to stun the Rabid Junkyard Dog early in the fight before it has a chance to gnaw off your face or hump your leg. After beating the slobbering Doberman, return to Jimbo and he’ll reward you with the Studded Dog Collar.

Head to the sewers next, where you can knock off two more beasts in the scum-filled maze. Use the alien probe to leap the gap in the first tunnel section, and head down the ladder at the end. Shoot the red wheel above the next sewage pipe and rush past the grate before the pipe gushes again. Loop around back and continue forward (past the Hankeys’ house) until you reach a receding tunnel with a ladder. Go up the ladder and head right out to the catwalk and then back in to the stone passage before meeting up with two Angry Hobos at the next tunnel. Shoot the red wheel atop the next sewage pipe and continue to the right.

Smash apart the wooden pallet up against the wall to reveal a switch. Pull the switch to raise the nearby gate and then take the ladder inside to the next level. Continue to the left through the hole until you see two red eyes glowing in a cracked wall section.

Place the Fromunda Cheese on the skull pile to draw out the Penis Mouse.

The freakish mouse may look like a pushover, but it’s not. If anything, its attacks are more horrific than those of the previous two beasts. Stun it quickly and pour on the damage before it can take out both of you.

Once you’ve finished the Penis Mouse off, probably with a few of your more powerful abilities, you can return to Jimbo for your special Animal Testicle weapon strap-on, but for now, stay in the sewers to find your next foe.

Retrace your steps to where you broke the wooden pallet, and go left until you reach the next ladder down. Take it to reach the back end of the sewers. Continue right, following the “Emergency Exit” sign.

Twist the yellow valve to lower the sewage flow so that you can cross back to the front path. Go right until you reach a dead-end corner with a hanging ladder. Shoot down the ladder and climb up. Go left and then through the nearby tunnel, which connects you with the back end of the sewers again. Pull the lever, cross the sewage pipe, and smash the wooden pallet to reach a ladder that takes you down to another tunnel. Shoot the red wheel on the next sewage pipe and take the next ladder down on the right. You’ll fight another group of hobos in front of a section of cracked wall that can be broken to reach a hidden green duffel bag. Go left and then through the next tunnel. Continue left and twist the yellow valve to bypass the next sewage pipe and head through the tunnel with the red light.

You’ve now reached the cave section of the sewers. Descend the ladder and go right. The Crab Person bangs on his mega drum set in the background, and you may have to fight a Giant Bat or two. Continue all the way to the right until you see the ladder leading up to a manhole cover at the Bijou Theatre. Shatter the cracked stalagmite blocking a side path.

Follow the side path until you find a pile of guano. Place your Blood Orange on the guano pile to lure out the Bloodsucking Fruit Bat.

Gang up on the Bloodsucking Fruit Bat as best you can. If one of you goes down, use a Revive Potion and get back into the fight as quickly as possible. Rely on stunning and special abilities to bring the winged beast down.

Once you’ve beaten the Bloodsucking Fruit Bat, return to Jimbo. It’s much faster to exit via the ladder to Bijou Theatre. Jimbo rewards you with the Plastic Vampire Teeth weapon strap-on.

Next, head out to the farm and ring the Cow Bell at the gate. A normal-looking cow strolls up to you.

Take one whack at it and the cow dies. Yep, you’ve just killed a normal cow. Return to Jimbo. He tells you that they lost half a unit to a farm cow when they were stationed in Hanoi. You receive the Suit of Armor Patch equipment patch for your butchery.

Your final foe hides up in Canada. Note that you won’t be able to get at it until you’ve opened up the border with a passport in the “Heading North” main quest. Once the border is open, look for the Canadian Barking Spider in the spiderweb nestled in the woods above Quebec. Use the Poutine to access the spiderweb and summon the spider.

Do whatever you can to squish the oversized arachnid. Try stunning it and then slicing away with your best weapons. Unload your special abilities on it while avoiding its poisonous mandibles.

When the beast flips belly up, you’ve cured your arachnophobia and can move on. Be careful to exit Canada without running into too many Dire Bears and Dire Wolves.

Return to Jimbo for your final rewards: an Obsidian Shard weapon strap-on and Jimbo’s Key. Use the key to open the treasure chest on the highest shelf, reached via your alien probe. And hey, you’ve made Jimbo and Ned happy campers reveling in the tales of hunting glory. Just don’t go out in the woods alone with these guys.