New Quest: Unplanned Parenthood

SPOILER ALERT! Quest Breakdown Step 1: Get a makeover! Step 2: Visit the Unplanned Parenthood abortion clinic. Step 3: Speak with the receptionist. Step 4: Enter Operating Room A. Step 5: Let Dr. Poonlover attempt an abortion on you. Step 6: Change into the Surgical Scrubs, Cap, and Gloves. Step 7: Enter the Records Room. Step 8: Search the 2013 records. Step 9: Escape the Taco Bell goons. Step 10: Leave Operating Room 02. Step 11: Navigate the air vents. Step 12: Avoid the machine-gun turret. Step 13: Defeat the Nazi Zombie Fetuses. Step 14: Stop the Giant Nazi Zombie Fetus. Step 15: Exit the abortion clinic.

The girls are happy that you outed Monica, but they still aren’t convinced that they should join your cause. They need you to do one more thing for them—infiltrate the abortion clinic and steal some records to see who really has gotten herself preggers.

Of course, you can’t go in as a guy, so the girls cart you off to the makeover studio. Choose a new, effeminate look, from hair style to shoes, and you’re ready to fool the abortion clinic into accepting you as a patient.

Inside Unplanned Parenthood

Walk over to Unplanned Parenthood and speak with the receptionist at the front desk. Enter the door marked “Patients Only” when you’re ready.

Loot Table: Unplanned Parenthood

N = Not Junk / C = Collectable / Q = Quest Item / E = Equipment / D = Dye

Proceed to the Records Room and try the handle. Security responds that access to the area is restricted to physicians only. You need to find another way in.

Sucks to Be You

Continue on to Operating Room A. Dr. Poonlover greets you at the door. He thinks you’re a little young for a patient, but what the hell—BMWs have to be paid for somehow.

Sit back in the chair and let Dr. Poonlover hook up his suction equipment. Mash the anti-abortion button to avoid a major problem between your crotch. And you thought the alien probe was bad?

You manage to burn out Poonlover’s machine and he steps out to fix it. Look for the Surgical Scrubs, Cap, and Gloves on the tray behind your chair. Put them on to blend in with the rest of the three-foot-six-inch staff members.

Record Business

Your doctor costume fools security and they open the Records Room for you when you try again. Search the 2013 box (labeled in yellow) for the records the girls want.

You haven’t a clue what the records say—they’re in some foreign tongue. Save the records for now and worry about living through the next few minutes.

Randy joins you in Records Room; he’s been searching for further signs of the weird activity around South Park, and it’s led him here. Seconds later, the government goons from the Taco Bell site barge in. Before they can fully interrogate you, they’re warned that the zombie contagion has broken out in the clinic, and they fill Dr. Poonlover full of lead mistaking him for a Nazi Zombie.

Shortcut

You’re locked in the Records Room. Snuff some Gnome Dust and shrink to your tiny size. Escape the room through the mouse hole in the back wall.

You find yourself in the floor under the guards. Watch closely as one of the guards drops down to listen at the floorboards. That’s a big clue to use sound as a weapon. Aim your ranged weapon at the pipe ahead and shoot. Guards will hear the noise and machine-gun the floor, killing the nearby Nazi Zombie Rats for you.

Smash the fetus jar and fetus inside, then quickly aim with your ranged weapon at the far set of pipes overhead. Shoot the pipes to bring down more guard gunfire and kill the nearby Nazi Zombie Shuffling Gnomes. Collect the Master Razor from the discarded gnome hat near the fuse box.

Step into the fuse box and hack at the first cable until the interior wires show. Use Cup-a-Spell and waft your gas in the direction of the live wires to cause an explosion.

The boom melts both cables in the fuse box. Walk through the fuse box and climb up the cable on the back wall to reach Operating Room 02.

Cleaning Up Randy

You discover Randy in the operating room wearing a blonde wig and hiding from the government goons. Use the Gnome Dust to grow back to normal size.

The government goons find you quickly. They aren’t buying your doctor routine and challenge you to prove you’re a real surgeon by performing a real abortion—on Randy.

You have three procedures to accomplish to avoid getting shot up by the goons. First, inject the syringe correctly by waiting for the needle to point toward the center of Randy’s groin. Second, spin to dilate. Third, when prompted, move the vacuum from one side to the other until the procedure is complete.

Nazi Zombie Fetus Attack!

Leave Randy behind in pain and head out into the hallway with the government goons. While searching the area, they’ve stirred up a nightmare from the clinic dumpsters—Nazi Zombie Fetuses! The Fetuses rip through the goons and leave you be while chomping on the flesh of dead soldiers. Butters pokes his head through a crack in the ceiling and joins you for the final push out of the clinic.

Walk to your left and shoot the metal air vent to the right of the Nazi Zombie Rats. The vent falls straight down to make a ladder at the top of the shelf. In shrunken form, you can use the roll of gauze to climb to the second shelf and the vent to reach the top of the shelf. However, you still have the rats to deal with.

Instead, head left to the soldier with a hole ripped through his chest. Use the Gnome Dust to shrink down and walk through the opening in the bloody chest cavity.

Walk up the fallen table that serves as a ramp and shoot the hanging ceiling plank above. The plank falls and forms the second half of your ramp leading down to the dresser.

Climb the fallen air vent to the left of the dresser and enter the hole in the wall. You’ll see a small generator on fire in the far corner. Smash the wooden support and Cup-a-Spell some gas in the generator’s direction to cause an explosion.

Use the cable by the destroyed generator to climb to the upper wall section. Stop by the discarded gnome hat for some extra loot and eyeball the Nazi Zombie Rats farther along the wood beam.

Aim at the wooden support above the Nazi Zombie Rats and shoot out the crossbeam. The wood flattens the rats and clears the way without you having to risk rabies.

Climb down the wooden support to the level with the dead rats. Open the air vent to the left of the squashed rodents to enter the air vent.

Machine-Gun Mayhem

Use the air vents to move back to the hallway near the Records Room. As you pass the open vents, you see scenes of mayhem: Pistols can’t hold the Nazi Zombie Fetuses at bay, and neither can machine guns or flamethrowers. The carnage makes a bomb scene look like a picnic.

Exit the air vent. The military has set up an automatic machine gun on the far side of the room. Watch carefully as it rips through two Nazi Zombie Fetuses crawling through the kill zone. Don’t walk that way.

You’ll see a downed soldier at the edge of the kill zone. Aim at the soldier’s hand grenade and stand back as you pull the trigger. The explosion obliterates the soldier and clears the way to reach the back of the room and access the robotic eye.

Break out your alien probe and use the robotic eye to teleport up to the pipe by the pressure wheel. Turn the wheel to shut off the water.

Now that the water has been cut off, use the robotic eye again to teleport into the broken pipe. Ascend the inside of the pipe to reach the exposed wires at the top.

Shoot the wires to drop the hanging light on the machine gun below. When it bursts into flame, you know it’s safe to cross the kill zone.

Giant Nazi Zombie Fetus Attack!

Return to the floor and cross the kill zone. Cup-a-Spell the burning machine gun to cause it to explode so you can pass through. Approach the soldier under the sprinkler.

Nazi Zombie Fetuses rush at you from down the hallway. The four Fetuses swarm you and Butters, but teaming up you should be more than a match for the gooey messes.

Continue to the front hallway, where the last of the government goons are holed up. With all the “baby” Fetuses wiped out, the “mama” Fetus arrives. The Giant Nazi Zombie Fetus breaks open the wall and munches on the last soldiers before turning its attention to you.

Don’t hold anything back in this fight. Tap into Butters’ best abilities and use your own special attacks to pound away at the Giant Nazi Zombie Fetus’s hit points. It’s going to take a while to abort this fetus; dip into your consumables to remove negative effects and keep your HP high. Eventually, your two-to-one attacks will overwhelm the monstrosity.

The clinic looks more like Jeffrey Dahmer’s bachelor pad now, so it’s time to get out. Leave the death and destruction behind, and go see Annie again.