SPOILER ALERT! Quest Breakdown Step 1: Talk to the girls back at the Pleases and Sparkles Club. Step 2: Return to the Elven Kingdom and collect your passport. Step 3: Go to Photo-Dojo for your passport photo. Step 4: Find your way through the Lost Forest to head north to Canada. Step 5: Travel to Ottawa. Step 6: Speak with the Prince. |
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“Your name is no longer Commander Douchebag. It is now ‘Larry Bobinski’ from Cleveland.” —Cartman |
When you speak with Annie at the Town Hall, she brings you back into the Pleases and Sparkles Club. The girls like what you’ve done so far, but they can’t find out who the traitor is until you get the medical records you stole translated.
Return to the guys back at the Elven Kingdom. Cartman believes that the medical records are in the strange Orcish tongue spoken in the lands to the north. You will have to go there to translate the document. Kyle and company hand you a fake passport for the trip; all you need is a new passport photo.
Preventing Perversion
To set out on your journey to the Kingdom of the North, first visit the local Photo-Dojo. Go up to the clerk at the front desk and ask him to get your pictures taken. He’ll buzz you into the photo studio in back.
Loot Table: Photo-Dojo
N = Not Junk / C = Collectable / Q = Quest Item / E = Equipment / D = Dye
| General Area | Location | Item | $$$ Value | N | C | Q | E | D |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Photo Studio | Large cabinet | Cash | $0.10 | o | ||||
| Photo Studio | Large cabinet | NAMBLA Calendar | $0.50 | |||||
| Photo Studio | Large cabinet | High Voltage Warning Label (Patch) | $2.00 | o | o | |||
| Photo Studio | Large cabinet | “The Spirit of Christmas” Film Reel | $0.80 |
The studio photographer sets you up in front of a green screen and starts snapping pictures. He wants you to lose some clothes, and the choice comes up to “Change Outfit” or “Keep Current Outfit.” The guy’s a perv, and you can’t continue until you choose to change your outfit. He eventually gets you to strip down to your undies.
Before the studio photographer demands you look good in your birthday suit, the real photographer shows up. Fortunately for the shyness of your privates, you get a chance to beat up the fake photographer and let the real photographer take a head shot for your passport.
The real photographer hands you a passport, and, after you spend money on any last-minute travel items, you’re free to head up to Cana—er, the Kingdom of the North.
Dazed and Confused
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“Sorry, but no more Americans in Canada right now! Canada is full!” —Canadian Guard |
Take a Fast Travel Flag to U-Stor-It and walk up the dirt path behind the storage truck. Pass through the farm with the cow pen and continue into the Lost Forest. If you haven’t already done so, use Dragonshout to disperse the rats that block the path.
Guess what? The Lost Forest really lives up to its name. There’s no finding a straight way through the place—it randomly shuffles some of the areas around—but if you keep walking north, you’ll eventually hit the northern border.
The Canadian Guard won’t let you in at first. However, since you have an official passport and everything he opens the gate for you.
The Great Northern Expanse—in 2-D
Welcome to the Kingdom of the North, a.k.a. Canada. Its breathtaking plains and awe-inspiring, snowcapped mountains are captured in gorgeous, limited-pixel 2-D. Get used to it; you’re gonna be here awhile.
Though you’re free to wander the Canadian map later, visit Canada’s capital city first, Ottawa. Most of the cities in Canada are set up the same way: shop near the entrance, bank to exchange U.S. dollars for Canadian dollars, and a healer in case you contract HIV. The royal palace is at the very top.
Enter the palace and work upward to find the throne. The Prince and Princess are in attendance, and the Prince tells you that he cannot translate the document for you. He insists that you see the Earl of Winnipeg for help.