Seems the bastards always want to mess you up or steal your Stick of Truth. We’re talking about the enemies and bosses in the game that stand in your way between death and Douchebag glory. At first, elves try to bugger your every step; later, hobos and wild animals, even aliens and Mongolians, will pester and prod.
During combat, you can always use the magnifying glass tool on your radial menu to examine enemy status effects. Check out their immunities (to fire, frost, shock, etc.) and weaknesses (to stun, magic, holy, etc.) to better counter and exploit enemy attacks and defenses. You might also want to watch for armor and shields and how they might affect your combat actions. Armor makes your foes tougher, and lighter attacks become much weaker against them (use Power Attacks against them); shields absorb incoming damage, so you can’t hurt your enemy until you break down the shields (use Normal Attacks against them). You will want to take abilities that reduce armor, such as the Jew’s Circum-Scythe or the Fighter’s Bull Rush, as they are super-important for getting through many boss fights. Weapon strap-ons also help. For your convenience, all armor and shields info is provided for each enemy or boss.
Every foe in the game is listed—first general enemies and then bosses. Enemies are catalogued in alphabetical order by their classes for easy reference when fighting groups of the same foe. For example, flip to the “Elves” section early in your adventure, so no matter what type of elf appears in combat, you can quickly look up its stats. Later, you can flip to the “Hobos,” “Aliens,” or “Nazi Zombies” section, depending on which enemies you’re facing. After all the enemies, we list the bosses individually in alphabetical order.
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Frost |
Shock |
Gross |
Holy |
Stun |
Magic |
Pissed |
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Alien Guard
HP
Immunity
STATUS EFFECTS: —
ABILITIES: Space Taser/Perfect Dodge Stance
Armor
Shield
WeaknessSee the “Alien Guard” sample enemy layout for what everything means in an enemy entry. The name 
tells you who you’re messing with; HP 
indicates the enemy’s max hit points, while Armor 
and Shield 
detail if the enemy has either of those protections, as well as their value. Immunity 
and Weakness 
show an enemy’s toughness or vulnerability in chart form. Check the Status Effects 
and Abilities 
sections for the special powers that an enemy may have. Full descriptions of status effects and abilities are provided in tables for easy cross-reference.
Common Status Effects
| Name | Description |
|---|---|
| Asleep | This enemy is sleeping peacefully and will skip its turns. Try not to wake it! |
| Ability Down | Decreases the damage of your abilities. |
| Ability Up | Increases the damage of your abilities. |
| Attack Down | Reduces the damage of your attacks. |
| Attack Up | Increases the damage of your attacks. |
| Bleeding | Causes damage at the end of every turn. Stacks up to five times. |
| Burning | Victim takes fire damage every turn. |
| Defense Up | Decreases the damage you take overall. |
| Defense Down | Increases the damage you take overall. |
| Grossed Out | Causes gross damage each turn, reduces healing, and prevents all potions other than Cure Potions. |
| Haste | You can attack again after your normal turn. |
| Immune to Gross | Recipient ignores all gross damage. |
| Immune to Holy | Recipient ignores all holy damage. |
| Immune to Magic | Recipient ignores all magic damage. |
| Immune to Pissed | Recipient ignores pissed effect. |
| Immune to Stun | Recipient ignores stun effect. |
| Pissed | Pissed characters cannot use abilities and will only target the person who pissed them off. |
| Rebirth | This character will come back to life immediately if it dies. |
| Reflecting | Reflecting combatants hit back any ranged attacks sent their way. |
| Regenerate | This combatant will regain hit points over time. |
| Screwed | Automatically die after a set number of turns. |
| Slow | Take your turns half as often. |
| Stunned | Skip your turns until you recover. |
| Weak to Fire | Recipient takes 50% extra fire damage. |
| Weak to Frost | Recipient takes 50% extra frost damage. |
| Weak to Gross | Recipient takes 50% extra gross damage. |
| Weak to Holy | Recipient takes 50% extra kosher damage. |
| Weak to Shock | Recipient takes 50% extra shock damage. |
Unique Status Effects
| Name | Description |
|---|---|
| Abilities Destroyed | The more stacks of this you have, the more the damage of your abilities is decreased. |
| Barbed Arrows | The enemy’s ranged attacks inflict bleeding. |
| Blighted Bolts | This enemy’s attacks now also drain some power points (PP). |
| Boss | Immune to stun, sleep, and pissed, just because. |
| Bunker Defense | This enemy’s defense is being increased. |
| Bunker Down | The enemy focuses his inner strength and releases it each turn, granting Defense Up to himself and his allies. |
| Calling Your Parents | This enemy is attempting to call your parents. You’d better stop him quick! |
| Channeling (Ability Name) | This enemy is focusing his power to do something, so you’d better stop him before he finishes. |
| Channeling Contemplate Profit | This gnome is gathering his energy to heal all his allies! Stop him! |
| Channeling Death from Above | This enemy is gathering power for a special attack. Stop him! |
| Channeling Financial Arbitration | This enemy is gearing up to fire off a powerful ability. You’d better do something quick! |
| Channeling Fiscal Impact | This gnome is preparing a major spell! Stop him! |
| Channeling Hello Children | This can’t be good… |
| Channeling Liquidate Assets | This enemy is powering up one of his abilities. Stop him before he sets it off! |
| Channeling Reproduction | This Bacteria looks like it’s about to do something nasty! You’d better stop it! |
| Chef’s Regret | Chef is paralyzed by his regret. |
| Cry of the ManBearPig | Grants ManBearPig health regen and Attack Up. |
| Cursed Blade | This enemy’s attacks now also drain some PP with each hit. |
| Defense Annihilated | The more stacks you have, the more damage you take overall. |
| Defense Matrix Condition Green | This enemy is currently increasing the defense of its allies. |
| Dire AIDS | Kills you slowly, but faster than regular AIDS. Not curable by normal means. |
| Dodge Stance | This enemy can dodge basic attacks. |
| Encouraged by the Tale | This enemy is encouraged by Jimmy’s jaunty tale, granting him Defense Up, Attack Up, and regeneration. |
| Excelsior | Al Gore’s attacks deal increased damage, and he regens health. |
| Exhausted | Jimmy is exhausted from playing the Brown Note. |
| Final Gift | Killing this enemy will spread his gift to his allies, healing them all. |
| Ghostly | Suffers reduced damage from attacks and is immune to damage over time effects. |
| Ginger Strikes | The enemy’s melee attacks inflict bleeding. |
| Global Warming | Automatically die due to massive global climate change. |
| Hooked Up to Defense Matrix | This enemy is being protected and hardly takes any damage from attacks. |
| Horde Strong | This enemy’s defense and attack are vastly increased. |
| Hunker Down | The enemy focuses his inner strength and releases it each turn, granting Defense Up to himself and his allies. |
| Inferno Blade | The enemy’s attacks inflict burning. |
| Inspiring Victory | This enemy is focusing his inner strength, granting Defense Up to himself and his allies. |
| It’s Ringing… | The line is ringing. Your parents will pick up the phone any minute. Stop him now! |
| Mad With Power | Cartman is enraged, and cannot be stunned or grossed out. |
| ManBearPig Mask | ManBearPig ignores all fart damage while his mask is on. |
| Mega Attack Up | Increases the damage of your attacks. |
| Mega Defense Up | Decreases the damage you take overall. |
| Nazi Zombie | Rises from the dead a short time after death. |
| Rabies | You will die soon. |
| Raging from the Monthlies | The She-Ogre does more damage with all her attacks, but at the cost of bleeding. |
| Riposting | Riposting combatants will preemptively attack anyone who attempts to hit them with a melee attack. |
| Shadow Guard | Craig’s trickery protects this unit from secondary hits. |
| Slime Bolts | The enemy’s ranged attacks inflict gross out. |
| Song of Protection | Jimmy’s Song of Protection has made him immune to magic. |
| Sparrow Prince’s Blessing | Raises offense and defense |
| Stem Cell Reconstruction | This enemy’s cells are constantly recreating themselves, granting him some life every turn. |
| The Best Defense… | Decreases the damage you take overall for a few turns after KOing a foe. |
| Tough Skinned | Tough from years of smoking. Barely takes any damage from attacks. |
| Trapped | This isn’t good. |
| Unholy Blade | This enemy’s attacks now also drain some hit points (HP). |
| Very, Very Small | This enemy is tiny, so it should be a pushover, right? |
Abilities
| Name | Effect(s) on Enemy or Enemies | Effect on Self or Party | Specific To… |
|---|---|---|---|
| Activating Defense Matrix | — | Defense Up (party) | Gnome Mage |
| Aggressive Scheduling | — | Attack Up (party) | — |
| Aimed Shot | Attack; Bleeding (one target) | — | — |
| Annihilation | Attack; Defense Down (multiple targets) | — | — |
| Armor Up | — | Armored (self) | — |
| Bacterial Infection | Attack; Screwed (one target) | Heal (self) | — |
| Bad Ferocious Doggie | Attack; Screwed (one target) | — | — |
| Bad Mangy Mutt | Attack; Grossed Out (one target) | — | — |
| Barbed Arrows | Ranged; Bleeding (one target) | Status (self) | — |
| Bear Balls | Ranged; Burning (one target) | — | — |
| Berserker Blow | Melee; Bleeding (one target) | — | |
| Birds Are Dirty | Reinforcements | — | Sparrow Prince |
| Birds are Gross | — | Defense Up (party); Attack Up | Nazi Bacteria |
| Blacken the Skies | Ranged; Bleeding (multiple targets) | — | — |
| Blighted Bolts | Attack (multiple targets) | Status (self) | — |
| Blinding Shot | Attack Down; Ability Down (multiple targets) | — | — |
| Bloody Blow | Melee; Bleeding (one target) | — | — |
| Bottle Toss | Ranged; Bleeding (one target) | — | — |
| Bounce Back | Revival (one target) | — | — |
| Brain Damage | Melee; Defense Down (one target) | — | — |
| Brown Note | Mana Overload (one target) | — | Jimmy the Bard |
| Buffs of Unusual Size | — | Defense Up; Attack Up; Regenerate (self) | — |
| Bunker Down | — | Defense Up (party) | — |
| Burning Barrage | Ranged; Burning | (one target) | — |
| Burning Down the House | Ranged; Burning (one target) | — | — |
| Call of the Wild | Melee; Grossed Out (one target) | — | — |
| Call Sparky | — | Reinforcements | Stan |
| Canadian Greeting | Ranged; Grossed Out (one target) | — | — |
| Canadian Spider Bark | Ranged; Grossed Out (one target) | — | — |
| Can’t Touch Us | — | Armored (party) | — |
| Caterwaul | Ranged; Attack Down; Bleeding (multiple targets) | — | — |
| Cheesy Poofs | — | Heal (self) | — |
| Cherry Bomb | Attack; Grossed Out (one target) | — | — |
| Chocolate Salty Balls | Attack; Grossed Out (one target) | — | Nazi Zombie Chef |
| Cleanse the Wicked | Attack (one target) | — | Bishop of Banff |
| Cleansing Inferno | Melee; Burning (one target) | Status (self) | — |
| Clone Army | — | Reinforcements | Craig |
| Concussion Grenade | Attack; Stunned (multiple targets) | — | — |
| Concussion Grenade | Ranged; Stunned (multiple targets) | — | — |
| Conscripted Fury | Melee (one target) | Attack Up; Ability Up (self) | — |
| Contemplate Profit | — | Heal; Regenerate (party) | — |
| Convalesce | — | Heal; Debuffs Removed (one target) | — |
| Crowd Control | Melee; Attack Down; Ability Down (one target) | — | — |
| Crush Crush | Attack (one target) | — | — |
| Cry of the ManBearPig | — | Attack Up; Regenerating (self) | ManBearPig |
| Curb Stomp | Melee; Ability Down (one target) | — | — |
| Cursed Blade | — | Status (self) | — |
| Cursed Magic Missiles | Attack; PP Drain (multiple targets) | — | — |
| Dance of Death | Attack (one target) | — | — |
| Death Bloom | Attack (multiple targets) | — | — |
| Death Bloom’s Final Gift | — | Heal (party) | — |
| Death from Above | Attack (one target) | — | Craig |
| Defense in the Red | — | Shielded; Armored (self) | — |
| Destruction | Attack; Ability Down (multiple targets) | — | — |
| Deteriorated Remuneration | Ranged (one target) | Shielded | (self) |
| Dick Knock | Melee; Stunned (one target) | — | — |
| Dirty Little Bastard | Melee; Grossed Out (one target) | — | — |
| Discus of Might | Ranged (one target) | — | Stan |
| Earthly Smite | Melee; Defense Down (one target) | — | — |
| Entangling Vines | Ranged; Trapped (one target) | — | Kyle |
| Excelsior | Attack (one target) | Attack Up; Regenerating (self) | Al Gore |
| Fake Out | Attack (one target) | — | Craig |
| Ferocious Bite | Attack; Bleeding (one target) | — | — |
| Feverish Bite | Attack; Attack Down; Ability Down (one target) | — | — |
| Final Stand | — | Attack Up; Armored (self) | — |
| Financial Arbitration | Ranged; Ability Down (one target) | — | — |
| Financial Impact | Ranged; Defense Down (one target) | — | — |
| Fire Phasers! | Ranged (one target) | — | Alien Co-Pilot |
| Fire Photon Torpedo | Ranged; Burning (one target) | — | Alien Pilot |
| Fiscal Impact | Ranged; Defense Down (one target) | — | — |
| Flame Spray | Melee; Burning (one target) | — | Cartman |
| Forest Blessing | Debuffs Removed (one target) | — | — |
| Frag Out | Ranged; Ability Down (multiple targets) | — | — |
| Frost Breath | Ranged; Attack Down (multiple targets) | — | — |
| Furry Friends | Attack; Bleeding (multiple targets) | — | Princess Kenny |
| Fury of the Elves | — | Attack Up; Hasted (self) | — |
| Fury of the Horde | — | Attack Up (self) | — |
| Get ’Em Boys! | — | Attack Up; Reinforcements (party) | Hallway Monitor Boss |
| Ginger Bite | Melee; Slowed; Bleeding (one target) | — | — |
| Gingerbread Break | — | Heal (self) | — |
| Ginger Strikes | Melee; Bleeding (one target) | Status (self) | — |
| Girl Hustle | — | Hasted (party) | — |
| Glass Breaker | Melee; Defense Down (one target) | — | — |
| Global Warming | Sleeping; Screwed (multiple targets) | — | Al Gore |
| Gloomy Earnings | Ranged; Slowed (one target) | — | — |
| Gloomy Forecasted Earnings | Ranged; Slowed (one target) | — | — |
| Grab Helmet | — | Status (self) | ManBearPig |
| Guano Bombing Run | Attack; Grossed Out (one target) | — | — |
| Gut Bash | Attack; Attack Down; Bleeding (one target) | — | — |
| Gut Punch | Melee; Stunned (one target) | — | — |
| Hammer of Justice | Melee; Defense Down (one target) | — | Butters |
| Hammer of Storms | Ranged; Attack Down; Ability Down (one target) | — | Butters |
| Have a Nip | Ranged; Bleeding (one target) | — | — |
| Head Shot | Ranged; Screwed (one target) | — | — |
| Healing Touch | — | Heal; Debuffs Removed (self) | Butters |
| Hello Children | Attack (one target) | Stunned (self) | Nazi Zombie Chef |
| Helo Strikes | Melee (one target) | — | — |
| He’s Calling Your Parents! | Hallway Monitor Boss Channeling Attack—Stage 1 (multiple targets) | — | Hallway Monitor Boss |
| Hoe’s Fury | Melee; Attack Up (one target) | — | — |
| Hunker Down | — | Defense Up (party) | — |
| Infectious Bite | Attack; Slowed; Grossed Out (one target) | — | — |
| Jack’d Up | Heal; Attack Up; Armor Up (self) | — | — |
| Judge the Philistine | Attack; Grossed Out (one target) | — | Bishop of Banff |
| Juiced Up | Attack; Bleeding (one target) | Heal (self) | — |
| Kidney Punch | Melee; Defense Down (one target) | — | — |
| Kidney Wallop | Attack; Ability Down; Bleeding (one target) | — | — |
| Laser Eyes | Ranged; Ability Down (one target) | — | — |
| Let’s Get Tough | — | Attack Up (party) | — |
| Levitate | Ranged; Attack Down (one target) | — | — |
| Liquid Courage | — | Heal; Attack Up; Armor Up (self) | — |
| Liquidate Assets | Ranged; Attack Down (one target) | — | — |
| Liver Punch | Melee; Attack Down; Ability Down (one target) | — | — |
| Liver Slug | Attack; Grossed Out; Bleeding (one target) | — | — |
| Low Blow | Melee; Defense Down (one target) | — | — |
| Lullabye | Sleeping (multiple targets) | — | Jimmy the Bard |
| Lunch Bones | Ranged; Grossed Out (one target) | — | — |
| Make It So | Ranged; Ability Down; Burning (one target) | Attack Up (self) | Alien Co-Pilot |
| ManBearPig Rampage | Attack; Bleeding (one target) | — | ManBearPig |
| Mangy Bite | Attack; Attack Down; Ability Down (one target) | — | — |
| Mega Rabid Bite | Melee; Screwed (one target) | — | — |
| Mega Reproduction | — | Reinforcements | |
| Mongolian Barbeque | Ranged; Burning; Bleeding (one target) | — | — |
| Mutant Cell Shot | Ranged; Defense Down (one target) | — | — |
| Mutant Drain | Melee (one target) | Heal (self) | — |
| Nature Power | — | Attack Up (party) | — |
| Nature’s Bounty | Heal (one target) | — | — |
| Nature’s Rebirth | Revival (one target) | — | — |
| Nazi Zombie Bite | Melee; Grossed Out (one target) | Heal (self) | — |
| Nazi Zombie Furry Friends | Attack (multiple targets) | — | Nazi Zombie Princess Kenny |
| Nazi Zombie Goo | — | Heal (self) | Nazi Zombie Princess Kenny |
| Nazi Zombie Unicorn Stampede | Attack; Bleeding; Grossed Out (multiple targets) | — | Nazi Zombie Princess Kenny |
| No Hall Pass, No Mercy | Melee; Bleeding (multiple targets) | — | Hallway Monitor Boss |
| Now You’re In for It | Hallway Monitor Channeling Attack—Stage 3 (Death) (multiple targets) | — | Hallway Monitor Boss |
| Once Upon a Maiden… | — | Defense Up/Attack Up/Regenerating (party) | Jimmy the Bard |
| Orbs of Shadows | Attack; Bleeding (multiple targets) | — | — |
| Paunch Punch | Melee; Attack Down; Ability Down (one target) | — | — |
| Perfect Dodge Stance | — | Dodging (self) | — |
| Pied Piper’s Song | — | Reinforcements (party) | Jimmy the Bard |
| Plagued Strikes | Melee; Grossed Out; Bleeding (one target) | — | — |
| Projectile Vomit | Ranged; Ability Down (one target) | — | — |
| Promote Synergy | Ranged; Grossed Out (one target) | — | — |
| Purifying Rage | Melee (one target) | Heal; Debuffs Removed (self) | — |
| Putrid Bite | Melee; Bleeding; Ability Down (one target) | — | — |
| Rabid Bite | Melee; Screwed (one target) | — | — |
| Rabid Fever | Attack (one target) | Attack Up; Ability Up; Defense Up (self) | — |
| Rage of the Monthlies | — | Attack Up; Bleeding; Pissed (self) | — |
| Rainbow | Attack (one target) | — | Nazi Zombie Princess Kenny |
| Rainbow | Attack (one target) | — | Princess Kenny |
| Ray of Damnation | Attack; Attack Down; Ability Down; Grossed Out; Screwed (multiple targets) | — | — |
| Red Death from Above | Ranged (one target) | — | — |
| Reflect Stance | — | Reflecting (self) | — |
| Refractor Shield | Shielded (one target) | — | — |
| Rent-a-Cop Rush | Melee (one target) | — | — |
| Reprioritize Task List | Ranged; Slowed (one target) | — | — |
| Reproduction | — | Reinforcements | |
| Riposte Stance | — | Riposting (self) | — |
| Schnell! | — | Reinforcements (party) | — |
| Set to Kill | — | Attack Up (self) | Alien Co-Pilot |
| Set to Stun | — | Attack Up (party) | Alien Pilot |
| Shadow Touch | Attack (one target) | Heal (self) | — |
| Shields Up | — | Shielded (party) | Alien Pilot |
| Shower of Ice | Melee; Slowed (one target) | — | Cartman |
| Shreeeeeeeeek! | Attack; Attack Down; Ability Down (multiple targets) | — | — |
| Shrink Underwear | Ranged; Ability Down (one target) | — | — |
| Slime Bolts | Ranged; Grossed Out (one target) | Status (self) | — |
| Slowing Smash | Melee; Slowed (one target) | — | — |
| Smash Smash | Attack; Attack Down; Slowed (one target) | — | — |
| Sonar Scan | Attack; Defense Down (multiple targets) | — | — |
| Song of Protection | — | Immune to Magic (self) | Jimmy the Bard |
| Space Grenade | Ranged; Ability Down (one target) | — | — |
| Space Medicine | Heal (one target) | — | — |
| Space Rage | Melee; Bleeding (one target) | — | — |
| Space Taser | Melee; Attack Down (one target) | — | — |
| Sparrow Magic Beam | Attack (one target) | — | Sparrow Prince |
| Sphere of Entropy | Attack; Grossed Out (one target) | — | — |
| Spider Baby Blast | Ranged; Bleeding (one target) | — | — |
| Squeak! Squeak! | — | Attack Up; Defense Up (self) | — |
| Stab from the Shadows | Attack; Bleeding (one target) | — | — |
| Summon Elven Berserker | Ranged; Bleeding (one target) | — | Kyle |
| Summon Nazi Zombie Death | Attack (one target) | — | Nazi Zombie Princess Kenny |
| Summon Revenant | Revival (one target) | — | — |
| Summon Secret Service | Reinforcements | Al Gore | |
| Sweet and Sour Surprise | Melee; Burning (one target) | — | — |
| Taze You Senseless | Melee; Stunned (one target) | — | — |
| The Phone’s Ringing… | Hallway Monitor Channeling Attack—Stage 2 | (multiple targets) | — |
| The Red Death | Attack; Defense Down (one target) | Bleeding (self) | — |
| Touch of the Ginger | Melee; Defense Down; Grossed Out (one target) | — | — |
| Transgressive Recapitalization | Ranged; Burning (one target) | — | — |
| Unbreakable | — | Shielded; Armored (self) | — |
| Unholy Blade | Attack (one target) | Status (self) | — |
| Unicorn Stampede | Attack; Bleeding (one target) | — | Princess Kenny |
| Unstoppable | — | Shielded; Armored (self) | — |
| Venereal Hug | Attack; Attack Down; Ability Down (one target) | — | — |
| Victory or Death! | Attack (multiple targets) | Channeling (self) | — |
| Vomit Blast | Ranged; Grossed Out (multiple targets) | — | Giant Nazi Zombie Fetus |
| Way of the Sword | Melee; Attack Up; Defense Down (one target) | — | Stan |
| Web Shot | Ranged; Slowed (one target) | — | — |
| Whirlwind Slash | Melee (multiple targets) | — | Stan |
| Wild Power | — | Attack Up (party) | — |
| Wolf Balls | Ranged; Slowed (multiple targets) | — | — |
| Wrath of the Elves | — | Attack Up (self) | — |
| You Have the Bridge | — | Retreat (self) | Alien Pilot |
| Zombie Rage | Melee (one target) | Attack Up (self) | — |
| Zombie Vomit | Attack (one target) | — | Nazi Zombie Princess Kenny |