Side Mission: Prairie Oyster Harvest

• Prerequisites: Complete Side Mission: Testy Festy, Flamethrower (optional)
• Rewards: Testicle Festival T-Shirt (Custom Outfit), $2,500)
• Details: This year’s Testy Festy has to be one to remember; one that makes people forget about Eden’s Gate. The only way to do that is with EXQUISITE balls.

MISSION Commencement

Head inside the Spread Eagle at Fall’s End to speak with Casey. He’s excited at the prospects for the festival, but this year the edible “delicacies” need a little something extra. This is where you come in; Casey wants the freshest “prairie oysters” around, cooked in three new ways: shredded, roasted, and blue. Have you got the balls for this job? You soon will.

GO TO Davenport Farm

All your swinging beef needs are met at the Davenport Farm, northwest of Fall’s End. Expect light cult activity in the area, especially at the Armstrong Residence. In fact, this location (just south of Davenport Farm) should be your first port of call. The cult is setting fire to the area, and a foe armed with a flamethrower is lurking close to the burned-out cabin. Slay him and all the other foes, and grab his flamethrower before heading up to the bulls’ field.

The flamethrower comes in handy shortly. It’s also important to remove all cult forces from the area, so your ball-collecting is uninterrupted.

DESTROY the Lock to Free the Cows

KILL a Bull After It Has Mated

COLLECT Emptied Bull Testicles

Saunter over to the small locked paddock where the cows are munching on grass. Shoot the lock, then back up and watch the cows lumber down to the bulls’ field. Stay at range, and let nature take its course. You’re looking for a bull to mount a cow. Once the deed is done, the bull has an icon above its head. Now attack and kill it (don’t use the flamethrower, but any other weapon is fine, including grenades), gathering the scrotums afterward.

KILL a Bull with a Tractor Mulcher

COLLECT Shredded Bull Testicles

Now for some shredded testicles. The trick here is to locate the tractor mulcher, which is either parked by the Davenport farm buildings at the field’s north end or is being used in the crop field to the east (by a cult member you can slay). Hop into the tractor, and simply drive it into the closest bull. You collect the shredded testicles automatically.

KILL a Bull with Fire

COLLECT Roasted Bull Testicles

The final way to grab your meat is by burning it. Achieve this by using a fire-based weapon. As previously discussed, the easiest way is to roast a bull using the flamethrower a cult member at the Armstrong Residence was using. Grenades and other projectiles aren’t effective, though Molotov cocktails are. Once the fire has stopped spreading, cut the crispy balls from the bull and head back to Casey.

TALK to Casey

Casey is now at the Testy Festy field to the east of Fall’s End. Speak with him, and he’s thrilled with your testicular fortitude. He asks you to stay for the festivities to come.

HAVE A SHOT SHOOT the Targets

Time passes. Reach out and take a shot before attempting to burst 10 sets of balloons tied to five scarecrows within 40 seconds, while steadying your drunken slingshot aim. This is difficult, and you get one chance. Employ the same techniques as for shooting arrows (while drunk).

Shoot all the targets, and wait for the time to run out (there is no fail condition on this mission).

Fail, and you wake up with some rather festive pigs in the baseball field just east of Fall’s End. Either way, the mission concludes.