Expressions
Expressions are your primary means of interacting with Albion’s citizens and influencing their feelings toward you. Unsurprisingly, then, the more Expressions you have in your arsenal, the better. Although several are available early in your adventure, many more are unlocked as you progress. Find out how to expand your Expressions list in the handy-dandy table below.
| Expression | Health Points | Special Effects | |
|---|---|---|---|
 |
Air Guitar | Alignment | Become Slightly Evil |
 |
Apologise | Alignment | Become Slightly Good |
 |
Ballet Dance | Alignment | Become Extremely Good |
 |
Belch | Social | Available near start |
 |
Blood Lust Roar | Renown | Reach Renown Rank 5 |
 |
Cock-A-Doodle-Doo | Alignment | Win Chicken Kicking contest |
 |
Cossack Dance | Alignment | Available near start |
 |
Crotch Grab | Alignment | Become Extremely Good |
 |
Disco Dance | Alignment | Become Extremely Good |
 |
Fart | Social | Available near start |
 |
Flirt | Renown | Available near start |
 |
Follow | Social | Available near start |
 |
Giggle | Social | Available near start |
 |
Insult | Alignment | Become Extremely Evil |
 |
Lockpick | Stealth | Reach Guile Rank 5 |
 |
Manly Arm Pump | Renown | Reach Renown Rank 2 |
 |
Middle Finger | Alignment | Become Moderately Evil |
 |
Scary Laugh | Renown | Reach Renown Rank 3 |
 |
Sexy Hero Pose | Renown | Reach Renown Rank 4 |
 |
Sneer | Renown | Reach Renown Rank 1 |
 |
Steal | Stealth | Reach Guile Rank 3 |
 |
Tap Dance | Alignment | Multiple Alignments |
 |
Thanks | Alignment | Become Moderately Good |
 |
Vulgar Thrust | Alignment | Become Extremely Evil |
 |
Wait | Social | Available near start |
Flirting
If it’s wedding bells you’re after, then you’re going to have to get your flirt on. Thankfully, numerous Expressions are available to capture your belle or beau’s attention—from the self-explanatory Flirt to rather more esoteric displays of machismo, including the Manly Arm Pump and Sexy Hero Pose. You can use your amorous arsenal on anyone in the game, but Flirt icons most frequently appear on your context-sensitive d-pad menu when you’re near an interested party.
To improve your chances of a successful flirtation, make sure you’re wearing your most attractive outfit and consider your grooming styles, too. If the object of your affection is interested, a small heart appears above their head. By alternating flirtatious Expressions, conversation, and gifts (not too often and never the same gift twice), the heart grows larger. After some effort, depending on your levels of fame, virtue, and attractiveness, the heart will begin to throb. Love is in the air!
Friends to the End
Friendship won’t always blossom into romance, of course—but that’s alright! Use the Follow Expression on admirers to bring them on your travels. You’ll have some company on the long and lonely road to Hero-dom and, more importantly, someone to battle at your side in combat. Evil characters can also lead their bestest buds to be sacrificed at the altar of Skorm, if the mood takes them.
Tying the Knot
Should the object of your affection start dropping hints about a Wedding Ring, matrimonial bliss is only a few short steps away. Give your love a ring as requested and, if it’s accepted, the pulsating heart above his or her head turns yellow. Congratulations, you’re engaged! Watch out, though; you only get one shot at proposing to a prospective partner, so don’t blow it with cheap, tacky trinkets.
To seal the deal, you need to find a marital home. Buy a house in any town, then use the Follow command on your partner to relocate them if necessary. When you’ve fulfilled these criteria, your betrothed will propose—accept to begin the ceremony, after which you’ll receive a small cash dowry and 1,000 Renown points.
A few notes on marriage in Albion:
- Don’t think you’ll worm your way into any hearts with a Fake Wedding Ring. Potential suitors are never impressed by miserly displays of affection.
- Surprisingly, a life of bigamy doesn’t count as an Evil deed. In fact, you can ring those wedding bells as often as you like across Albion—just be aware that you can only establish one marital home per town.
- Albion is far more enlightened than it might first seem. If you crave the touch of another man, there are plenty of potential male suitors around the land. What’s more, find that special gent and you can tie the knot, too.
Keeping The Love Alive
Of course, a truly happy marriage takes some effort on your part —you can’t expect your spouse to hang around forever while you live the life of high adventure. Return home from time to time, flirt, bring gifts, stay in trim, and your relationship should remain as fresh as the day you first met. Conversely, neglect and physical abuse are a surefire way to lose the affections of your loved one —and divorce won’t be far away. Divorce, incidentally, earns you an automatic 600 Evil points—something to bear in mind if you’re inclined that way.
Rumpy-Pumpy
Once you’ve established a suitable marital home, you can get hot and bothered with your mate by spending some quality time together. Eventually, you’ll receive a saucy proposition. Accept the offer, then settle back for some (off-screen) fireworks.