Funniest Jedi Survivor Review Bombs by Fed Up Gamers

I feel that this is not the end of the tragicomical creativity of this community.

Star Wars Jedi: Survivor hasn’t even been out for a whole day, and the PC community on Steam has already made quite a few… comical reliefs in their reviews, so to speak. The performance is obviously way below the satisfactory level on PC, and while the console performance is better, with some FPS drops, it’s mostly manageable from what we can gather.

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Naturally, we’ve compiled a list of (mostly) funny Steam reviews of Star Wars Jedi: Survivor from Day One that comically point out a lot of things that are wrong with today’s Gaming Industry through the ever-popular method of review bombing. We hope you’ll enjoy it, and we also hope that the community will start reacting better to unoptimized, untested, and unfinished games in the future. After all, we want to game in peace and spend some quality time in front of our screens, right?

Star Wars Performance Drop: Survivor PC Review Compilation from Steam

Let’s get the memes rolling, and mind you, only about a quarter of reviews on Steam in the first 24 hours are positive. While the game is good story-wise and gameplay-wise, the performance issues definitely hinder the experience for a lot of players.

Whenever it’s possible, we should get something positive out of something bad that has happened, so hopefully, this tale is riveting enough. And who knows, once Metacritic unlocks user reviews (at this moment it’s not possible to leave reviews because “the game has not released yet”) we might have another spicy news piece on our hands, but I believe it won’t be “floored” to the bottom of all-time lowest reviewed games by users on Metacritic just yet.

Related: Star Wars Jedi Survivor’s Little Frog Man Turgle Steals The Show

Screenshot from Steam Community Reviews by Prima Games

I fondly remember an indie game where you can literally die on the main menu title screen, so this made me chuckle a bit.

Screenshot from Steam Community Reviews by Prima Games

Many, many title spinoffs exist, but CPU/GPU hit the spot well. Here are a couple more of them:

Screenshot from Steam Community Reviews by Prima Games
Screenshot from Steam Community Reviews by Prima Games
Screenshot from Steam Community Reviews by Prima Games

Eew. Yuck. Gross. Why would you post that online?

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Screenshot from Steam Community Reviews by Prima Games

A lot of NASA jokes and memes have sprouted but, in the end, this all serves to comically point out that perhaps, the playtesting was done on an otherworldly machine.

Screenshot from Steam Community Reviews by Prima Games

A game so hard that you can’t even find a way how to start it.

Screenshot from Steam Community Reviews by Prima Games

Hogwarts Legacy was delayed for a long time, and I feel that the community was way happier about the its performance than this game. Iconically (or ironically, you decide), I thought to myself: “Why wasn’t this Star Wars game released on May the 4th? Such a wasted opportunity!” and now I firmly believe that they should have done that, working towards improving the performance as much as possible until then. Or even, until May the 4th 2024. I do not think anyone would mind as long as the experience is pristine!

Instead, we’re getting a Star Wars Refund Survivor meme while people are massively advocating for immediate refunds and re-purchases on sales until the dust settles and the game is patched up. From a certain perspective, that hurts the revenue for the developers (and the investors), and we all know about the pressure the dev teams are getting on them to finish the game by a certain deadline by the same investors. In these conditions, it might be hard to balance things out and bake the game fully before getting it out of the oven. Once the oven cools down, microwaving it after it cools off might not do it the same favor good baking would do, if you catch my drift.

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Screenshot from Steam Community Reviews by Prima Games

Gotta love it when the community makes lore/movie references in such situations.

Screenshot from Steam Community Reviews by Prima Games

Spot on, TrippyTaka! Marvelous and well-thought.

Screenshot from Steam Community Reviews by Prima Games

Well, this one is pretty… descriptive and graphic.

Screenshot from Steam Community Reviews by Prima Games

Great delivery of a Palpatine quote alteration by Jyn here.

Screenshot from Steam Community Reviews by Prima Games

Bullseye! Casual gamers, hardcore gamers, streamers, influencers, YouTube personalities, news outlets, everyone has been talking more and more about “voting with your wallet” and “never preordering”. I’m not throwing shade toward Star Wars Jedi: Survivor only, mind you.

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Screenshot from Steam Community Reviews by Prima Games

Another reviewer mentioned that “This is the 6th AAA game that got released in a broken state”. Luckily, we have fought for the rights to refund our digital goods, even though it’s under specific Terms and Conditions™

Screenshot from Steam Community Reviews by Prima Games

Denuvo is receiving so much hate, and gamers worldwide just want it gone. Remember when Denuvo-less Doom got leaked and how well it ran on PCs compared to the Denuvo version? Honestly, piracy isn’t what it was just a decade (and a half?) ago.

Now, you have frequent sales of games, sometimes just a few months after the release, bundles, free games, and various “passes” for different platforms, which allow you to sort of… “rent” a game. I remember some outlets analyzing the sales of video games and claiming that most of the sales for a game happen in the first month or two. And it could be true for all I know, whoever is interested to buy it at the full price upon release is bound to do it within that time span. The rest will pirate the game (with no intention of buying it ever, perhaps waiting for a sale just to have it in their digital library for convenience), will patiently wait for a sale, or will play it on a Game Pass on their platform (if it’s available). Why is then, Denuvo not removed after it has “done” its job, to allow some breathing space for PC gamers?

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I mean, a lot of gamers have already stopped buying games upon release until things get smoothed out or, at least, they get verification from reviewers that it’s playable. And that’s a good thing.

Screenshot from Steam Community Reviews by Prima Games

And, as this Steam User has announced:

Official EA / Respawn Entertainment / Lucasfilm statement

This sounds like a broken record, yet it keeps happening. So, May the 4th Patch Be With You?

In the end, let’s get some positive reviews going to prove that it’s not all just negativity around this review bombing.

Screenshot from Steam Community Reviews by Prima Games

Oof.

Screenshot from Steam Community Reviews by Prima GamesI

I mean, it’s like you’re playing a Comic Book game, right?

Screenshot from Steam Community Reviews by Prima Games

Fun Fact: I once got banned from Steam Discussions for a day for a joke like this that was deemed as a bypass of swear filters. Hoping the same does not happen to “Guma”.

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Here’s a cat to close things off. The cat is resigned by the current situation, but the cat is always there for you, to comfort you.

Screenshot from Steam Community Reviews by Prima Games

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Author
Image of Nikola L
Nikola L
Nikola has been a Staff Writer at Prima Games since May 2022. He has been gaming since being able to hold an Amiga 500 joystick on his own, back in the early 90s (when gaming was really good!). Nikola has helped organize dozens of gaming events and tournaments and has been professionally attached to gaming since 2009.