Final Fantasy 7 Rebirth’s True Final Boss is the Freaking Piano Mini-Game

When I first encountered the piano minigame in Tifa’s house in Nibelheim in FF7 Rebirth, I was instantly hooked. So much so that as soon as I started unlocking Piano Sheets, I made it my mission to get an A Rank on each of them. Little did I know I’d soon hate myself for that decision.

Forget Sephiroth; I’m 1v1’ing the Piano

Once you reach the Crow’s Nest in Junon in Final Fantasy VII Rebirth, you can play the piano for the first time since the Nibelheim flashback. As you interact with pianos around the world, you’ll obtain a Piano Sheet, which lets you play that music score at any piano. If you get at least an A Rank on a Piano Sheet, Dorian, a Piano Outreach Association member with a passion for good music, will reward you with Materia for your efforts.

“Hell yeah!” I thought, “This will be easy.” Spoiler alert: it wasn’t. I aced the first three Piano Sheets with A and S Ranks, confidence getting the better of me. Then I tried scoring well in the song Two Legs? Nothin’ To It… What the heck? Notes flew out of nowhere; double notes appeared like crazy—utter chaos.

I know what you’re thinking. Yes, it probably is a skill issue—I’ll admit it. But as someone who literally spends hundreds of hours 100%’ing games, I can’t stop thinking about it. Getting the top score in the Dolphin minigame? Easy. Finishing the Card Carnival at Costa del Sol? Nothing to it. Beating Sephiroth in 3D Brawler? Barely broke a sweat. Why am I being broken by a freaking piano? I just want my 2-Star Empowerment Materia. And the Platinum trophy, of course.

I got my butt handed to me so hard that I’ve rage-quit like 20 times trying to beat it. I won’t give up, though! Even if it costs me my sanity and ages me by 30 years. You’re on borrowed time, piano.