Cuddly Carnage!!!
Hey, Red Faction: Armageddon fans! Yeah, I’m talking to you! Remember that cuddly rainbow-farting unicorn, Mr. Toots? His image can be found outside the STAG PR Center in one of the cutscenes—he is the proud emblem for the air division!
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And you thought Mr. Toots was cuddly! Do you recognize these sneaky little guys? They’re Cabbits! You can find them hidden throughout Saints Row, but Cabbits were originally an enemy type from Volition’s role-playing game Summoner. I found my first one trying to eat one of the guests on my show.
Normally I would be OK with that, but we just paid for all those deadly cobras. So I snapped the Cabbit’s little neck and had it stuffed to impress the ladies. If you want your own Cabbit, there is one hidden in an overhead compartment at the start of the second mission.
These guys are just so cute once they are stuffed! You can find another one of these fearsome Cabbits hiding in the store called Nobody Loves Me
You know I have a soft spot for cats, right? Don’t ask me why. Anyhow, keep your eyes peeled during the first mission of the game. One of our artists put together an image called Johnny Cat, a Saints Row homage to the popular “keyboard cat” meme. It is featured on a computer screen in mission 1 and he’s just so cute I could die!
Kinzie Conspiracy!!!
So after my 26th and final episode of the S.E.R.C. season, this crazy fan of mine (I think she’s a fan) named Kinzie sends me an email regarding “The Grand 31 Theory.” Apparently, I’m part of some of some greater design where all things of importance add up to the number 31.
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For the good laugh, I gave her a free pass to my five episode summer special Genki Climax Additional, and a chance to win tickets to Murder Brawl XXXI. In truth, however, each cut-scene used to have a timestamp that would in numerological terms equal 31. Aside from these time stamps, the number 31 is all over the place in the game. Kinzie is not crazy. Just don’t tell her she’s right!
Kinzie also senses a conspiracy with the Cabbit hidden in Stilwater from Saints Row 2. There is a poster in her crib with a picture of the Cabbit that says: ”HIDDEN BUNNY IN OCEAN.” Did any of you intrepid Saints Row 2 explorers find it?
Cat & Mouse
Cat & Mouse is a co-op minigame that can be activated when one player kills the other. It’s pretty basic, but can be loads of fun when playing with a pal.
There are three variations:
• Version 1: The mouse gets a fast vehicle and the cat gets an aircraft to destroy with the mouse.
• Version 2: This version puts the cat in a tank and the mouse in the golf cart.
• Version 3: This version gives the cat a STAG Jet Bike, which is very awesome.
John McClane Bonus Points!
This one is one of my personal favorites. Call down an airstrike at your own feet. Wait until just a moment before impact, then run like hell to get away. Keep the camera looking back toward the strike and dodge roll forward. Time it right and you look like Bruce Willis as you dive away from a giant explosion, then nonchalantly stand up and go about your business.
But SERIOUSLY Folks....
You can’t make a city as grand as Steelport and not have some inspiration from important people in your life. Even Super Ethical Reality Climax comes from...mostly me. Mostly. Ninety-nine percent of it. But that one percent, that came from someone else. There’s a boat dock in Steelport called Rondini’s Boat Dock, marked with a memorial plaque:
Rondini’s Boat Dock
Dedicated August 20, 1939
When you work with your hands
you’ll never be rich
but you’ll never go hungry
This is a memorial to one of the developer’s father in law, Ronald H. Hupertz who passed away suddenly November 8th, 2010. The dedication date on the memorial just happens to be his birthday. Rondini was his nickname given to him by his son. The dock itself is a reference to his favorite pastime, fishing on Lake Erie. The quote about working with your hands is something that Ron told his children, and it’s stuck with them ever since. It fits the working-class background of Steelport, and more importantly it’s some of the best advice a man could pass on to his kids.