Shamful Suprises!!!

WTF??!

I’m sure you will see some scary things lurking in the streets of Steelport while you are here. I sure have. I still remember the first time one of those massive brutes started grunting and charging at me, or that guy in a gimp suit who chased me down the street with a four-foot dildo bat.

But that’s nothing. If you want to see something really scary take a look at the walls of the Let’s Pretend store and you will find actual pictures of Volition employees in Halloween costumes.

Steelport has a lot of people to see and things to do, but keep in mind other people have to see you, too. If you are always wearing the same tired old outfit, your fans are going to get bored with you right quick.

There are shops all over the city. One of my favorites is Let’s Pretend. That’s where I get most of the outfits for my game show contestants. They still keep the “Old Man” mask on the wall, which is the likeness of former Volition studio art director, Keith Self-Ballard. For some reason he insisted on wearing a mask whenever we were out in public together.

Other Crazy S*!@

Thunder Pump gas station is named after one of the movies advertised on porn theatre marquee signs in Saints Row 2. This name became a running gag during development of Saints Row 2, when one of the EAs (Environment Artists) created a loud jingle for the movie and continued to sing it for the rest of the project.

It seems like the nicer your car is, the quicker it gets dirty around here. The only place I will go is Zimos carwash. They don’t use any machines or automated crap to wash down your ride.

They are proud to offer the best hand jobs in town. Zimos gets its name from a car found in all of the Saints Row games. Rumor has it that it is also the nickname of a team member’s friend. You’ll notice the Zimos car is featured front and center in the sign for Zimos car wash.

The Daedalus carries Cyrus’s personal “Deaths Head” STAG logo. It’s also clearly labeled 02, while the Thermopylae is 01.

Be on the lookout for the the port-a-potty faerie ring near the power plant with a smaller dildo “faerie ring” in the middle. Here’s a hint: There is a Decker’s gang operation, Burns Hills, at this location too.

Super Crazy S$*!@

Not to be outdone by the phallus-obsessed artists that created the Dildo bat, some of the game’s environment artists also snuck naughty bits into seemingly benign items.

Almost all interiors in the game have an “excited” duffle bag waiting to be found. One of the first bags in the game is stashed in an overhead compartment in the plane in the second mission.

If you can get one these bad boys past TSA, the look on the flight attendant’s face is priceless when you ask for help stowing it away.

Feel Boss

During production, Volition Inc. hired an Australian outsourcer team to create cinematic cutscenes. The Aussie team added the creepy “Feel Boss” man without explaining what it meant.

Does he help you “feel boss” for the low, low price of $5? Who knows? But the team at Volition loved the mystery so much that they kept it. In fact, they even snuck more “feel boss” references into the game. For example:

• The player will sometimes have idle lines of dialogue where he or she asks, “What is ‘feel boss’?”

• They also made a cryptic commercial for it that plays on the radio; it ends with “Feel boss. Yes? No? Maybe? You know the answer. Feel boss.”

• After completing the second mission, keep your eyes peeled during the exit cutscene for a creepy dude holding a sign that reads “Feel Boss $5.”

Felony! NUTSHOTS!

Every weapon type has at least one special nutshot (many have both custom front and back nutshots). The best nutshot is definitely the one delivered by the Reaper Drone weapon. Few people would even think to do a nutshot with it! Equip it, find an unsuspecting pedestrian, and nutshot him!

Unethical behaviour, DEVELOPER FAVOURITES!

Nothing says good times like blowing things up and handing out beatdowns. However, the team decided to share some of their favorite things to do outside of missions.

The "Penetrator"

Please allow me to introduce you to “The Penetrator.” The dildo bat was originally supposed to be used by two NPCs that were fighting each other with huge dildos (not dildo bats … just dildos) that you or I could run into in the world.

Our weapon artist, David Payne, knew he had to take it one step further and made it into an actual weapon that we use. That’s when one of the Saints’ tech artists, Randall Hess, added the jiggle simulation and one of the programmers, Eric Braun added the spring-type physics support.

Needless to say, everyone loved it when it was on display during a team meeting and now it’s a fan favorite. When our audio lead, Ariel Gross, heard the first sound effects from our audio designer Brandon Bray for the dildo bat’s impact sound he knew from experience to suggest, “More splat, less slap.” It’s one of those moments when a man realizes just how much he loves his job.

Here's a Leap of Faith

Here’s a game I’m trying to find a way to incorporate into Super Ethical Reality Climax. The Syndicate Headquarters is the tallest building in all of Steelport. Now, I want you to imagine Mascots, contestants, signs, everything just thrown off the top of the building!

Battles to survive all the way to the city streets below, with the only safe landing possible in the small pool of water in front of the building! Aim for the Morning Star logo, kids! You can do it!

Parachutes, you ask? You didn’t think I’d give contestants parachutes, did you? Heavens no, it’s expensive enough just to rent the rooftop in the first place!

An Open Challenge

You might not believe it, but being a Professor doesn’t mean I only sit back and observe, and it sure as hell doesn’t mean I can’t prove myself in a fight. I like to remind the good citizens of Steelport of this occasionally, which means you could find yourself in the middle of an improvised episode of Super Ethical Reality Climax, and you don’t even have to wear a ridiculous costume!

That’s like being a winner at the lottery! Only I shoot you. A lot. Of course, you could try fighting back, you might do better than all the volunteer Mascots on the regular show! Or you might not.

Man-a-Pult Mayhem!!!

Is it any surprise that my awesome man-a-pult Genki-mobile is among the team’s most favoritest vehicles in the game? Want to know why? It’s called versatility, my friend. Versatility!

Using the man-a-pult, you can shoot Steelport road signs with the poor, unfortunate souls of Steelport. Simply scoop them up, then find a nice, big green road sign to play target practice with.

The better you get at firing people out of my long, hard cannon, the easier it will be for you to do the next man-a-pult favorite activity—launching yourself onto tall building. (Don’t forget to use your parachute!)

Of course, you’re bound to draw lots of attention, and when you do, the choppers come swooping in. On occasion, one will land. Make a bee-line for it and hi-jack it!

However, once you’ve hijacked a heavy helicopter, why not use it to push cars off the highways by running into them? It takes a few tries, but it’s rewarding!