I Drank The Liquid Essence Of Grimace And Played His Video Game – A True Birthday Celebration

TIL he's a tastebud, not a Chicken Nugget.

I’m not just jumping on the bandwagon here; I’ve been a Grimace stan since I could ever remember. Out of all of the fast food icons that shaped my life as a small, American child, this purple creature has always withstood the test of time for me. While mysterious in nature, Grimace always struck a chord with me… until he vanished from the spotlight in 2003. But where did he come from? Where did he go? Where did he come from and when will Grimace come home?

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A Grimistory Lesson

While originally the devious type, Grimace was introduced as a villain, much like the Hamburgler. But, instead of taking away burgers, Grimace would steal milkshakes from children. But, after he was done with his villain arc, he became good friends with Ronald and the gang, and instantly stole the hearts of millions.

While only 11 at the time of his discontinuation, I had a lot of memories from my earlier years of life, playing in the Mcdonald’s playroom, celebrating my own birthday, and attending birthday parties at Mcdonald’s, it was like a dream come true when I heard they were bringing Grimace back for a new birthday event in the Lords year of 2023.

Screenshot: Prima Games

Since his inclusion in the Cactus Jack meals as an Adult Happy Meal Toy (which I just also happened to get the first time around, hell yeah), the thought of a Grimace Meal made me, well, grimace at the idea of drinking the soul and essence of this creature. But I am beyond glad that I did. I promise this isn’t an advertisement, it’s just so strange and I’m all for it. Sponsor me, you cowards.

The Grimace Shake – A Mencacing Shade Of Purple

To all my 90’s babies: do you remember the Purple Ketchup that took the world by storm? That was my initial reaction to seeing this bizarrely colored shake. While watching a few videos, I saw folks reviewing this particular chilled drink and it didn’t look anywhere nearly as viscerally and visually menacing as mine. It looked like my local McDonald’s had grabbed the Grimace himself and stuffed him directly into a blender. It seems cruel, but we promise it was worth it.

Screenshot: Prima Games

A vibrant purple milkshake may not appear initially appealing, but once I sat down and said a little prayer for my departed friend/mascot Grimace, I gave it a try. Described as “purple-berry flavored”, the Liquid Soul of Grimace gave the immediate taste of Captain Crunch Crunchberries, as another wave of 90’s nostalgia instantly flooded my veins. Or, more likely, more sugar than I have consumed in the past few months at once, but hot damn, this shake was delicious. Instantly, I had to turn to our work chat and spread the news of the Grimace Shake and convince them to let me write this silly little article about it. You can tell yourself it’s a gamer snack or something, it’s good. Please drink the soul of the boy.

GRIMACE PURPLE SHAKE

PROS:
● Tastes Like Captain Crunch
● Grimace Shake > Shamrock Shake tbqh
● Made Of Pure, 100% Grimace

CONS:
● You can only get it in the Grimace Meal


A copy of this shake was purchased at McDonald’s. Reviewed using my Tummy.

Wait, What About The Grimace Video Game?

Oh yeah, that’s probably what you’re here about. Browsing through Twitter today, I was shocked to find out that there was a fun little Grimace game that you can play on your PC. Created by Krool Toys, this Gameboy-inspired platformer finally canonically introduces the fact that Grimace can kickflip on a skateboard, and pull off hella grinds. Tony Hawk, who? Never heard of him.

What makes this even more hilarious to me is the fact that you can actually download a ROM from the Internet Archive and play it on official hardware, as long as you have a Flashcart that you can put it onto. Or, if you’re like me, you can use an Emulator Device to play through this surprisingly fun, albeit short, platformer game.

Photo: Prima Games

That’s right, there’s a new platformer king on the Gameboy Color in 2023, baybee. You take control of our favorite purple Nugget creature (I refuse to acknowledge that he’s a giant tastebud) and make your way through four different stages, gathering up Grimace shakes. The game takes about half an hour to beat, but a lifetime to master.

With simple controls, enduring visuals, and zero microtransactions (unheard of in 2023, thx Grimace), you can polish your way through this game in an afternoon. Then, there’s the Hard Mode, which will make even the most talented Elden Ring players weep tears of joy. Kidding, it’s the same game but now you have to control your tricks a bit more, but still, a free video game with Grimace. Totally not biased in my review score for this one, but it’s genuinely fun and the fact that it works on actual Gameboy hardware shows incredible dedication by the team.

GRIMACE’S BIRTHDAY

PROS:
● Mario, who?!?!
● I really love the game, the game is so good
● Would rate 11 out of 10, but don’t want to make the graphic.

CONS:
● Can’t figure out how to beat the first level
● Not enough microtransactions, I need to spend more money


The game is free online, go play it, please. Reviewed on “Offical Gameboy Hardware”.

Overall, it’s a great time to be a Grimace stan. His return as the Biblically Accurate Grimace toy in the Cactus Jack meal, the chance to finally know precisely what Grimace tastes like, and the free video game adaptation that deserves to be turned into a feature film, the Grimace Birthday Party is bound to be the biggest success of the year. He’s the hero we needed during this trying time, and we couldn’t be more thankful for his return back to the collective subconscious of the world. Or at least, I am. Welcome home, Grimace, we missed you ’round these parts.

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Author

Shaun Cichacki
As a fan of RPGs, Action & Retro titles, Shaun has been gaming since he was a young boy. With an overwhelming obsession involving Metal Gear Solid and Pizza Tower, you know you're in for a wild ride when it comes to things he's writing about.