Today is Mario day, because well, the date is March 10, and that looks like Mar10. So we all collectively decide to celebrate Mario, but this month is a little different than most other years. It’s also the month Nintendo is deciding to execute Mario. 

On Mar10 Day We Choose To Celebrate The Real Hero, Luigi

For those unaware, the Mario 3D All-Stars collection Nintendo released back in September will no longer be available to purchase come April 1, as well as the Mario 35 Battle Royale game.

This news has been known for a while so we won’t dwell on it, but instead choose to look ahead. After Mario dies in a few weeks what will we have left? Well, I’m glad you asked.

It’s time for Luigi to take his rightful spot as ruler. Luigi, the much more charismatic and interesting brother of Mario deserves the spotlight. Yeah, I know we had the year of Luigi a while back, but only a year? Are you kidding me? 

Luigi can jump higher, is taller, has a better mustache, and can shoot himself sideways like a bullet in Super Smash bros. When did we decide that Mario was the champion we wanted to get behind? 

Luigi even has a dog know as the Polterpup, does Mario have a dog? Didn’t think so. Does Mario have a goo version of himself known as Gooario? No, he does not. 

I think the most damning piece of evidence though, comes from the worst Mario game Super Mario Sunshine. Professor E. Gadd created both the F.L.U.D.D device and the magic paintbrush that Bowser Jr. uses to create Shadow Mario. 

He did this to frame Mario and give Luigi his time to shine (no pun intended). E. Gadd also created the Poltergust 3000, which was given to Luigi to help fight off ghosts. These same ghosts work for King Boo who trapped Mario in a painting. I believe Professor E. Gadd constantly creates scenarios for Luigi to thrive in, to give him the proper recognition he always deserved. 

I know deep down you know this to be true, but I will leave you with a comic that perfectly encapsulates how the world views Luigi. This should be changed and rectified. Thank you for your time.