Boss battles. In any game, they’re to be expected, with some big guy (or girl) stumbling onto the scene after you take out so many minions, challenging you with a pattern that you can (eventually) figure out, while using so much of your health and power-ups to bring them down. Some bosses are shockingly easy to defeat, once you exploit their certain weakness or pick the right tool for the job.
Then there are the boss fights that are so ridiculously hard, you curse your game system, your controller, and anything immediately accessible, asking why you can’t possibly defeat them. Sometimes they move in unpredictable fashion; others, they’re able to heal themselves before you can deliver the final blow. But these bosses take a licking and keep on ticking, forcing you to plow away or devise a new strategy before you succumb into extreme frustration.
With that, we’ve selected eight epic boss encounters that you’re likely to agree on when it comes to building incredible anger, mainly because you can’t beat them no matter what you think you try. If you think we missed one of your favorites (or most loathed), be sure to let us know. But be advised – going against these guys unprepared is a VERY bad idea…
The Stone-Like, Radiant Silvergun
Even though it has an abnormal name, the Stone-Like shouldn’t be taken for granted. The final boss in this Xbox Live Arcade shooter (previously released for the Sega Saturn) launches pretty much everything he can at you while he runs around, including huge bolts of gunfire that simply can’t be avoided and bright attacks that can burn your ship to a cinder. To survive him, you’ll need to maintain your cool – and a few explosive power-ups. But we guarantee you’ll lose a few lives at first – if not all your credits.
Shao Kahn, Mortal Kombat (2011)
If there was ever a cheap character put into a fighting game, it’s clearly Shao Khan. Back in the original Mortal Kombat II, he wasn’t so hard to figure out. But in the 2011 reboot of the series, he’s a real pain in the neck. Not only will his taunts get on your nerve, but he’ll launch into a series of cheap attacks when you come rushing in, guaranteeing that he’ll survive the battle while you collapse in a pool of your own blood. He’s not completely unbeatable, but you’ll need a great deal of lucky shots to bring him down. You’ve been warned.
Emperor Sardius, Super Ghouls n’ Ghosts
And you thought the previous Ghouls n’ Ghosts bosses were a handful. The final battle that awaits you in the SNES sequel involves a warrior who stands two stories tall, and requires you to ride one of the floating platforms in order to even access his weak spot. To make matters worse, he continuously fires lasers from his stomach, which can easily take away whatever armor you have stored. Oh, and did we mention that the only way you can fight him is by getting one of the weakest weapons in the game? Talk about an unfair advantage.
Ultimate Alma, Ninja Gaiden
Though she may just look like a variation of Lady Gaga, Ultimate Alma means nothing but business. One of the toughest bosses you’re likely to find in the original Ninja Gaiden, Alma throws everything at the book at you while rarely exposing a weak point for Ryu Hayabusa to fight. As a result, you’re bound to curse even louder than you would have at any other point in the game. And considering the difficulty that the original Xbox version packs (or, for that matter, its Black follow-up), you’ll be screaming aplenty. It’s time to sound proof those walls.
Dark Samus, Metroid Prime 3: Corruption
The conclusion of the Metroid Prime saga goes out with a bang, but very few are likely to reach it unless they’re skilled enough to figure out and destroy Dark Samus. The shadowy clone of the game’s heroine, Samus Aran, Dark Samus not only has the power to launch deadly clones around the room, but can practically heal itself at a moment’s notice, posing an even greater threat to your energy depleted hero. Just keep shooting fiercely and scrambling to stay alive, and you may stand a chance to see the game’s ending. Maybe.
Zeus, God of War II
Even though Kratos is incredibly powerful, it takes an awful lot to bring down the king of the gods, Zeus. Even with the most powerful weapon in his arsenal, the former God of War will find his hands full trying to bring down the cheat-packing, super-strengthed Zeus, who comes at you with everything he’s got, and then tries to cheapen the fight by killing you quickly. Only be persevering and figuring out how to eventually chip away at him do you stand a chance at toppling him. Even God of War III’s final battle was easier than this one…if that makes any sense.
Sephiroth, Kingdom Hearts
Really, does anything else need to be said aside from Sephiroth? He’s already established himself as quite the monster in the Final Fantasy series, especially when it came to killing off Aerith, one of the series’ most beloved characters. But in Kingdom Hearts, he’s just plain unfair, coming at you with all sorts of attacks and forcing you to conserve as much HP as possible just to stand a chance against him in combat. He’s about as bad in Kingdom Hearts 2 as well. Just stock up and prepare for a battle of the ages.
Fontaine, Bioshock
Forget the fact he’s been messing with your head through “Would you kindly…” suggestions. Fontaine himself is a heaping handful, mainly because he’s so super-human that he’s damn near unstoppable. He hops around the room unpredictably, forcing you to use as much hybrid ammo and tactics as you can to eventually stop him. While the ending – good or bad – make the fight well worth going through, it’s no easy defeat for this super freak. Remember, BE PATIENT.
